7th March 2003

    A sick note from Jim's Mum" ....what I thought was back-ache last Friday when my little boy came back from football practice (Jimmie said it might be something to do with Tim's dodgy tackles) has now turned out to be bronchitis!!!  I'm keeping little Jimmie in bed for a few weeks and he won't be able to come out to play until he is completely fit!"

    And another from Chris,
  Dear Coach,
    I somehow managed to break my wrist whilst playing in goal on Friday (I swear it was this & not that I got carried away watching Sky Ones Baywatch weekend) so will be out of action for a few weeks.
        Chris

    Jim's been giving out some more flying header coaching last week - must have sent a video, cos he's tucked up in bed.  That cracker from Geordie Floyd Hasselbank was a perfect advertisement for Jim's coaching skills.

This article was in the paper and our editorial staff thought of you (the Dads)!  Does anyone happen to know who might have written this little plea for help? This is a genuine article, only the name have been altered to protect the helpless.

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

THE SUN                                                                           

Hurt by jibes over
lost football skills

  I play football with friends and for local teams but my performance has gone downhill and everyone is winding me up. I've been playing so badly that I'm not enjoying myself and my friends keep taking the mickey. This makes me play worse because I end up trying so hard that I mess it up. Then they have another excuse to insult me. I missed 15 chances in one match. This is stressing me out and not helping my game. What can I do to start enjoying the game I love again? DEIDRE SAYS.
    All sportsmen have bad patches. Those who succeed in the long-term hang on through the hard times. Try to think yourself through potentially difficult situations and picture yourself handling them well. You are then more likely to succeed in reality. Sink Or Swim: Energy, Motivation, Performance by Duncan Goodhew and Victoria Hislop (Random House, £9.99) has some great tips. Don't forget to bring your Granny to footie practice on Friday.

    Dear Editor,
    With reference to the above article, had you used the word hopeless instead of helpless I'm sure we would all have guessed who it was that penned his plea ( no inference intended by the use of this word ) to Deirdre
Lauren

    Martin sent emails to all his chums to tell them about a letter to Dierdre in the Sun.  He seems to think it might be something to with the Dads.
    "I forward this on to show the disarray that our oppenents find themselves in after last Friday's defeat. So far 8 of their team have admitted sending similar letters to Deidre.

    Great turnout for the 5-a-side, last week - can we do it again?  See stealth Medway nutmeg Jim Allan and bamboozle Robbie Thorpe.  Witness the Red Blurr (Martin Kingsbury) streaking down the wing.  Experience the best display of naked sporting prowess this side of the Kalahari (?)

    If you're good you are even allowed to partake in a little re-hydration in the refreshments hall after the game. Our bodies are temples.